Squid Do Time
(scene cus to Squidward sitting down on a bench in a jail cell) Squidward: (sobs) Squidward's Voice: (narrataing) What have I done to deserve this? Nothing, really. That's Monopoly logic to you. All I wish I could do now is go... (Squidward looks to his right) Squidward: Aah! Who are you? ???: I'm gonna bust you outta here. (theme song, scene cuts to the board) SpongeBob: Please be a five, please be five, please be a... (the die rolls a five) Yes! A five! (he moves five spaces) Chance, please. (a chance card appears in front of him) Thank you. (reading) You win the election, collect two-hundred quid. (stops) YEES! I'm the new prime minister! Mr. Monopoly: (laughs) This is only a game, Gerald will always be our prime minister. Gerald: Hi. SpongeBob: I'll show you! (storms off, they laugh) Patrick: Sorry, Jeff. He sometimes gets a bit... what the word? Squidward: Stupid? Patrick: No, that's more like me. SpongeBob just gets angry, that's all. Mr. Monopoly: Nothing a l'il scone can't fix! Squidward: Now that SquareBrain is gone, do we still have to give him the money? Mr. Monopoly: Technically SpongeBob is no longer playing so the game must come to a close. (claps his hands as everyones' money comes flying back into the bank) Billy wins. Billy: Yay! I won! What did I win? Mr. Monopoly: NOTHING! Billy: (cries) Meanie beanie! (runs away) Mr. Monopoly: Oh well. Better go find SpongeBob. Patrick: Yeah and I've gotta go to work. Squidward: How in Neptune's name did you find a job so quick? Patrick: Well, I got fired from Monomail so I decided to start my own business. (holds up a shirt with sequins all over it) Disco Shirts! Only two pence! Squidward: Sounds stupid to- Mr. Monopoly: Fantastic! Might wanna raise the price though. (walks away as Patrick changes the price to 3p) Squidward: I hate my life. (scene cuts to the next day) SpongeBob: It's time to roll..... the die! Patrick: Yeah! Mr. Monopoly: And this is a magic die so the number could be anything up to eleven! SpongeBob: Yeah! (the die roles a three) Three! (Squidward moves three spaces) Ooh... Squidward: What's ooh? SpongeBob: You're standing right next to the 'jail' space. (dun dun dun) Squidward: That's nice but what I meant was what's ooh? Patrick: I know! I know! I know! Mr. Monopoly: Patrick. Patrick: A word. (cricket chirp) SpongeBob: My go! (another day cycle) Mr. Monopoly: Seven! (day cycle) Patrick: (moves five spaces) One, two, three, four, five... (day cycle) Squidward: Yah har yes! I won! (day cycle) Billy: (cries, day cycle) SpongeBob: Scone, please. (day cycle) Patrick: Chance! (day cycle) Squidward: OK! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS! WE'VE BEEN PLAYING THIS GAME FOR OVER TWELVE DAYS! CAN'T WE STOP?! Mr. Monopoly: Oh, so you want to miss out on the fun. Squidward: Wait, no I don't! Mr. Monopoly: So ol' Squiddy wants to skip the fun. Squidward: I don't! I swear! Mr. Monopoly: Good then. Role the die. (the die roles a eleven, Squidward moves eleven spaces) Patrick: (gasps) Squidward! Squidward: What? Did I do something? SpongeBob: Look down. (a tear sheds) Squidward: (looks down) It's a graffiti of a policeman giving the... (he changes the rude gesture into something more child friendly) It's a policeman. Patrick: And what's he saying? Squidward: Nothing he's... (scene cuts to him behind bars) WHAT? I thought it ws only a game! Mr. Monopoly: Can't mess with laws, pal. Squidward: Wel why can't YOU change them? Mr. Monopoly: (sighs and then shows Squidward a contract) When I became mayor, I hated fun, I was grumpy. I hated everything! I would sign almost every contract because of this and, I was young. A few months ago I tried to change the law when my father reminded me of his contract. Squidward: (reading) I, Jefferson Monopoly, sign this contract and promise not to change the law in the name of my father, my family and its entirety. (stops reading) SON OF A- (static, a hour passes and the visitors are gone. Squidward sobs and turns to his right) AAAAAAAAHHHHHH! ???: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! Squidward: AAAAAAHHHHH! Who are you? (moves back) ???: I'm gonna bust you outta here. (draws his cane) Squidward: Mr. Monopoly? ???: No, not Mr. Monopoly. Perhaps someone more sinister, more evil than that idiotic Mr. Monopoly. Perhaps someone's name you'd never want to here again. I'm....... Geff: GEFF! Squidward: Geff? Geff: Geff Squidward: Geff? Geff: Are you new here or something? Squidward: Me and my idiotic neighbours got sucked here by a yellow die. Geff: (shows the die) This one? Squidward: That's it! My ticket- (Geff throws it out of the window) home. WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT FOR? Geff: No idea. If you know me you'll know I like to be cliché. (ding) Squidward: Argh! Geff: I hate prison! Everyone gets put here for doing good bad things... which are good... but also bad! But there are the lucky few who find themselves here by landing on (he makes a hologram of the go-to-jail guy) this guy! Wait a minute... who changed his gesture? Squidward: There were kids watching us and I couldn't let see that! Geff: Fair enough. Now to decide your fate! I can break you out of here but you'll have to work for me, you can go back home but be dead or spend the rest of your life as a pig. What shall it be? Squidward: Erm... I dunno! I don't wanna be a pig but I don't wanna- Geff: (gives him a watch) Clocks ticking. Tic, toc. Tic, toc. Tic- Squidward: I wanna... (explosion, the jail cell door falls over and SpongeBob stands in it's place.) SpongeBob: Get out of jail free card! (holds out the card) Geff: WHAT? Mr. Monopoly: (appears) We played on... SpongeBob: And I found this! Squidward: Aha! See ya later, sucker! (runs off) Mr. Monopoly: (gasps) Geff! Geff: Jeff! Mr. Monopoly: We meet again, brother. SpongeBob: (imitating the minion) Whaa? Geff: Well, well, well. Since we last saw each other, two years ago, I have done some work. Say hello to Mr. Game-Of-Lifely! Mr. Monopoly: Mr. Game-Of-Lifely? Geff: That's right! I am the new mayor of Lifeville and am more evil than ever! Mr. Monopoly: Come on then! Show me what you've got! Geff: Erm... I need a scone break. Can we erm... settle this tommorow, Tuesday perhaps? Mr. Monopoly: You're on! (Geff flys away on his cane, credits) SpongeBob: (during credits) Ready to nae nae, Patrick? Patrick: Not yet! I have to warm up first. (he does some stretches) Uh, uh, uh, uh. Go Patrick! Go Patrick! Go Patrick! Director: We're out of running time. SpongeBob: Too bad, Patrick. You'll have nae nae your socks off next episode. Patrick: Yeah, too bad. (SpongeBob leaves, Patrick puts Gangnam Style on) Whoooo! (The episode ends)